/he broke the surface and struggled to fill his lungs with air/

It is currently 12:45AM on a Wednesday night. I can’t remember the last time I logged on and tried to organize my thoughts out here. And I won’t promise that this is the beginning of regular, periodic posts again either. It’s been simply too random and hectic to try and maintain any kind of consistency… and I’m enjoying it immensely.

I had a random talk with a good friend tonight and it was brought up how things should be more spontaneous; to the point of emotionally relieving. I’d love to just drive up two hours north for no good reason one night and just stay wherever I end up. This is to just be able to do these things, while I still can. Before the stresses and responsibilities of being an actual grown-up begins.

There was a time when I thought tattoos and their meanings were all they were about. I recently realized there could be another component and that would be the time period it represented. I would love to get a small tattoo, somewhere inconspicuous, of something stupid, one random night. If that happened, right now, I don’t think I would regret it at all. When I get old, if that tattoo could even slightly remind me of how I feel at this time in my life, at peace and content, then it would be more than enough. It couldn’t serve a greater purpose than to preserve a memory we would never want to forget.

I currently feel bound by the pressures we receive at this stage in our life to do something with ourselves. There is no doubt that we owe it to those that care about us to make something of ourselves and to demonstrate we have learned how to sufficiently take care of ourselves and those who rely on us. I just don’t want to ever get caught up in the process of taking care of loved ones and forget to actually care for them. I would rather take an hour out of my day to have a heart-to-heart with someone who needs it than to earn fifty dollars. That’s where my flaw is, in the monetary sense. With this trait, I don’t think I would ever be able to achieve financial success in this slaughterhouse of capitalism attainment. Maybe I should throw in the towel now and just be a teacher or something — infect the minds of the following generation so this whole system will be overturned.
I suppose I have an odd, cynical sense of humour.

Have you ever had one of those nights where you had a silent altercation with someone and you just wanted to punch them in the face? I have those all the time and I’ve been recently trying to get out of the habit of thinking about popping them in the lung whenever that happens. I feel like I need to be a better person and not act out in a primal manner. It affects those around me and I don’t want to provoke others to act in the same way. Even making an effort to not forget about people, regardless of whether they make the same effort, is something I would want to work at. I like this quote from somewhere I can’t place at the moment. It’s probably wrong because I am writing this off of memory:

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
…
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

I totally cheated. It was annoying me to no end when I couldn’t remember the poem in its entirety…so I went to good ol’ Google. In all seriousness, it is one of the best poems I’ve read about inspiring others with your own actions. I took out a bit of the poem though because I felt it ruined the flow of my point. The poem was not taken out of context though!

Ok, I feel I am beginning to ramble so I shall leave with another quote. Goodnight, world:

Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die,
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

The Charge of The Light Brigade - Alfred, Lord Tennyson

——-
Breathe in, breathe out.
Play safe. Stay classy.

The ultimate road-rage killer. Hahah.

This is my thirst, my warmth, my addiction. We meet again.